Some days are just longer than others. Some weekends shorter. Some nights longer. The phenomenon of time has been written about extensively, so what concerns me here is simply the embodied time of the fashioned mind.
The past Saturday was for me one of those longer days. Moreover, since I am in the middle of an "experiment," considering the correlation of outward and inward appearances (and again I don't have photos), I needed more time to consider clothing, and to make "changes" (although that's a pretty bad pun). I have dedicated myself to the task of what we might call "an intentionality" of apparel. Intentionality is usually thought of as the condition of consciousness (your awareness is always an awareness of something). However, Merleau-Ponty noted in his phenomenology of language and communication that intentionality must be rethought not as a transcendental nexus, but an in-the-flesh, act of embodiment. Now, because of the relationship between subjects (intersubjectivity) intentionality becomes as much a hermeneutic, semiotic and phenomenological endeavor; my clothing is not a pure expression of some idea, but is open to interpretation, and subject to ideologies and mythologies--whether I like it or not.
My musical peformance of that afternoon went well (see previous blog).
So, after band practice, I came home to get ready for a night at the theater--Candide. Long story short. My wife, who was in a terrible car accident a few weeks ago was in too much pain to attend, and I wanted to see the show--which was nearing the end of its run.
I wanted to dress up for the theater: I wore a Black kilt with black leggings and tall belted Doc Martins boots. My shirt was a pleated tuxedo shirt with ivory studs and the coolest cuff links I've ever seen (really, they are very cool). I topped this with a thick black velvet jacket from Gap completing a clean black and white look (you know, I really need to learn to take pictures; I always forget, and putting those studs in took forever).
Now, if we want to talk about power. Let's consider how odd it is for a man to describe his outfit. [I remember this beer add in which men, using direct address asked questions such as, "do these pants make my butt look big?" The ad was hysterical because of its perspective by incongruity] Too make matters worse I'm contentedly heterosexual. I need to write an entry on heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality. For now, consider that I'm secure in my sexuality (secure enough to wear a skirt in public).
So, I'm dressed and ready to go out. If I may say, I looked great and that did help me to feel great. Why is it that looking good helps us to feel good (let's talk about psycho-graphics later). Perhaps there is more to the phenomenology of clothing than the semiotics suggests. Perhaps, however, I'm just wrapped in conspicuous consumption and the nature that appeared as culture appears now as nature and I'm essentially lost...I hoped you followed that one (no time to spell it out, but it's important to note that I'm not not just dropping lines here).
Too many words...last point tonight. So, I'm decked out in basically a mix of kilt and tux and after buying tickets I need to put my wallet back in my sporran. The sporran, I hope you know, is a type of purse (that's many enough, huh) that hangs over one's so-considered privates--which are much more sexualized when there's a big black leather bag making that penis and balls a lot more conspicuous than the kilt does; phallic culture indeed. Even when wearing a kilt properly, what do they call it? military? commando? regimental? Right. That's it. The word purse means pouch...well, enough of that. So, as I try to put my wallet back, the leather ties are tangled and as I work to untie them (while walking to toward the theater--and believe me, you're never quite invisible in a kilt) I hear two girls saying, "what the HELL is he doing?"
Now, perception, hearing for example, is very subjective, and it is very possible to hear what you think is important, but also possible to know when someone is in fact talking about you in a crowd. Room for error--sure, but here I am digging in my...purse..while walking across the hall. It's easy to see how conventions, like pants, are invisible. I was rather taken back and while not embarrassed, I do wish those ties were not knotted. I wanted to draw a very different image than I might have in that case. At the same time, were kilts "normal" nothing would have been made of what could have been an insignificant moment. What is significant is that wearing a kilt, a skirt, and fumbling with my sporran, was really pretty offensive to these women. I need to keep in mind that if I want to help "normalize" men's unbifurcated garments, I need to take care with my actions, take command of indication and association.
During intermission I was sought out by friends who noted that I was pretty easy to spot in a large crowd. There are benefits.
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